Introducing a new alternative to daily horoscopes! "Alter.Nost" or "Alternate Nostradamus", your one-stop shop for alternate prognostication! (aka "Fognostication" or "Flognostication" depending on your sign).
The only think you need to do is determine your "sign". But once you've done that, you are ready to go!
Today's Alt.Nost for the Sign of the Underemployed:
Stay out of the narrow aisles today.
Today's Alt.Nost for the Sign of the Overlysensitized:
Your gravitational field is far too strong today and you are attracting idiots.
Today's Alt.Nost for the Sign of the Poorly Placed Electrical Outlet:
You're going out dressed like that? Well....Ok.
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